Extra sport isn’t actually about the sport but it’s about the fact that the kids are learning endurance (when they would rather be sitting in front of the tv!) It’s learning about accomplishing kids goals when they feel like giving up. And it’s about learning about resilience, dealing with challenges and overcoming them.
What is Resilience?
When we talk about resilience, what we’re talking about is your child’s ability to cope with life’s usual ups and downs, happiness, disappointment, and more – things that we deal with in everyday life. Bouncing back from situations isn’t something you’re supposed to learn overnight, it’s a practice in which takes years to perfect. Kids are faced with challenges everyday such as school presentations, moving house, examinations and so much more – so it’s vital to start them early in developing the right emotions, actions and habits to overcome these challenges.
Why is Resilience and Kids Goals setting a big deal?
Children who set goals and ambitions are most likely to focus on what they want to achieve, rather than turning their attention to something that they don’t care much for. This helps them to have a Can do attitude when they are planning, prioritizing and producing the results they want, as well as completely accepting and taking responsibility when things don’t go to plan. By doing this, it creates a sense of confidence, competence, motivation and self-esteem by growing, tackling and achieving them goals. This will help them to step into their adolescence by being able to manage stress and enhance their mental health. Failure to do so effectively, could result in being at risk of developing depression and/or anxiety. Setting goals is an effective and efficient way to help your child’s resilience.
How do I help my child with Resilience and Goals?
Jot it down
Spend time with your child and get them to write down what they want to achieve this particular year. By writing the goals down, they are 24% more likely to achieve them. By doing this activity with them, it not only helps you to get clarity on your own goals, but shows your child that this is an important activity to do. Then, brainstorm all the obstacles that could get in the way of your goals. By encouraging advanced planning, it means that you can talk about the ‘what ifs’ and kill bad habits and negative thoughts. Try positive attitudes like ‘if you feel like giving up, what are you doing to do instead’.
Your child(ren) won’t learn how to deal/bounce back from situations if you wrap them up in cotton wool. As hard as it is, you need to let them deal with the difficult scenarios and even fail at them, for them to learn and react the correct ways. When things get tough, it’s good to talk through options but ultimately they need to make their own choices and possibly, consequences. Don’t automatically jump in to fix things, just be there to support. For example, if they don’t do their homework and end up getting a detention, those negative emotions will help to motivate and make them determined to never do it again.
Talk it through
After your child has experienced anything really positive, or negative, talk about it. By talking about it together, you are able to speak about strategies and coping mechanisms for next time. But, always emphasise that they can turn to you for help, as that’s your job! Reflecting on what happened, helps them to identify problems and what they should/shouldn’t have done.
Break into small steps
Now they’ve picked their own goals, break them into smaller steps, by asking positive probing questions like ‘how do you get there?’ and ‘what would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail’. By breaking things down, it seems easier to achieve them bit by bit every single day, to work your way up to where you wish to be.
‘People with goals succeed because they know where they’re going’ – Earl Nightingale. Setting goals and building resilience is just preparing your child for the adult world, and helping them to deal with situations positively, effectively and efficiently. If they want to give up, just give them a gentle reminder of why they wrote them goals in the first place – fetch the piece of paper and remind them of WHY they wanted that, then start to talk about the objections and obstacles they are facing. You can create a sense of familiarity here, by relating it back to you and giving them examples of how you were them at their age once. Our classes here at MyFirstGym, helps kids get the positive recognition and celebrates how far they’ve come and that all their efforts, persistence and motivation isn’t wasted. As well as touching on what goals they wish to achieve and how they believe they are going to get there.