WORDS BY ERICA NEWTON, MYFIRSTGYM CO-FOUNDER
Mother’s Day is so lovely… in theory. Breakfast in bed (crumbs, cold tea and/or toast), handmade cards (aggressive use of glitter and or/dried pasta) and a handpicked flower (from next-door’s garden). No matter how it’s packaged, your kids demonstrating their love for you is absolutely the best feeling in the world. But, if we’re being honest, Mother’s Day also has a funny way of making mums reflect on one thing: am I doing enough?
I don’t think there’s a mum on the planet who hasn’t sat back and thought:
- Am I being patient/present/ strong enough?
- I should have done xyz differently.
- Why did I say yes to [insert just about anything]?
- I should have introduced greens earlier *chucks salad from dinner in the bin*.
It’s the worst kind of performance review for the job no one applied for: Mum Guilt.
And apparently, we’re not imagining it. According to a 2021 study of new mothers in the UK and Ireland, nearly two thirds (63%) thought they were a ‘bad’ mother some of the time, even when they weren’t experiencing post-natal depression.
And since we’re being honest, that number feels kind of low.
Guilt follows mothers everywhere, especially when you’re trying to raise healthy, strong and independent kids. We want them to be resilient… but safe. Adventurous… but careful. Brave… but not too brave because please don’t jump off the retaining wall, I just sat down.
The Problem with ‘Careful!’
A friend once confided that she felt like the only interactions she had with her children were in the form of commands: ‘Stop!’ ‘No!’ ‘Be careful!’ The next day I counted the number of times I said ‘Careful,’ and stopped at 17. It was 7.30am. I hadn’t even had a coffee. That can’t be healthy, right?
Obviously, we want our kids to be safe: no one is suggesting jumping from the roof onto the trampoline is a hot idea. But in trying to protect them from every bump, bruise and muddy sock, we accidentally protect them from the very things they need to grow into those healthy, strong, independent kids.
🌳 Climbing trees
🪨 Balancing on rocks
🙈 Swinging from monkey bars
🤾♂️ Falling over
🙌 Getting back up
These are the moments where confidence is built, and where resilience starts.
Sometimes the best thing we can do as mums is step back… and let them try. Even when every cell in our body wants to yell, “NOT THAT BRANCH!”
Raising Independent Kids Doesn’t Mean Doing Less
Allowing our children to become more independent is where the strangest kind of Mum Guilt rears its head. If we’re not hovering, fixing, reminding or pre-opening every snack packet, we’re somehow failing. But independence isn’t neglect, it’s trust. It’s giving kids the chance to test themselves in safe ways. Try, fail and try again. To climb higher, try again and discover they are capable.
Never is this more apparent than in physical movement. More than just fitness, it teaches problem-solving, body awareness, courage and independence. It’s also how they build the gross motor skills that lead to fine motor skills later. Like holding pencils properly, cutting with scissors and not gripping a crayon like they’re preparing for battle.
At MyFirstGym, we see this every day. A child who was initially nervous on the bars suddenly swings across with the confidence of someone auditioning for Ninja Warrior. A quiet kid finds their voice. A cautious one realises they actually can do hard things.
And the mums? They take a breath and realise they don’t have to do nor oversee everything for them. Sometimes our job is just to stand nearby, cheer loudly and resist the urge to say, “I told you so” when they ignore simple physics because: gravity.
This Mother’s Day, Let Go a Little.
This Sunday, skip the Mum Guilt performance review. Instead of aiming to be the perfect mum, maybe we could aim to be the kind of mother who let’s go a little. The one who doesn’t worry so much about the dirt. Who says yes to climbing and swaps perfection for play. The mum who understands that resilience and confidence actually looks a lot like grass stains and scraped knees.
Because strong kids aren’t raised by perfect mums. They’re raised by absolute legends who love them enough to let them explore, fail and try again.
And if you still feel guilty? MyFirstGym can help with that. Our gyms are staffed by amazing, caring coaches, have a timetable full of fun, challenging classes designed to develop physical development and confidence, all in one location. Bonus Mum Points: you can grab a coffee and don’t need to yell ‘CAREFUL’ once!
Check out a MyFirstGym near you now.